A Very Joe Biden Halloween Poem!

Updated: Nov 22, 2020

by James Lane

Deep in the night after calling a lid, under his covers, sleepy Joe hid.

Tossing and turning, his diaper was soaked, nightmares plagued this tired old joke.

Forty-seven years he thought hed slid through, fake it till you make it leads to this? Who knew?

Alas, his demons did creep and crawl through the night, torturing old Joe with visions of fright!

The lightning it cracked, the wind it did scream, for this is no ordinary night, this is Haloween.

The walls they shook, the air it was cold, and not just because sleepy Joe is so old.

All of a sudden, a crash in the night, Joe Biden sits up and screams in fright!

Nothing comes out as he tries to speak, his attention span short and brainpower weak.

What is the thing, who is the there, where am I doing, what do I care?

Joe's words came out broken as a figure appeared, a mighty tall ghost with a great famous beard.

Holding an ax, his top hat intact, blood from one ear, and a suit on his back.

This was Lincoln, the man who freed the slaves, the great Republican president, who had a nation to save.

Joe, I have returned, to set things straight, I need you to see, that this nation is great, so tonight I will take you, on a magical trip, there are no handrails, so try not to slip.

Lincoln gestured to Joe, come closer, you're slow, I have something important to say!

So Joe leaned in close, and before he could notice, got punched right square in the face!


Lincoln looks pissed, his face beat red, are those tears? Lincoln angrily says!

Get up! Lincoln screams! but Joe doesn't listen, a boot to the ribs, sends him a vision.

For 47 years I've cheated the people, I've hurt minorities, I've been corrupt and evil.

I've taken bribes and bounty with no plans to stop, I've bought fancy cars and my son a laptop.

I've turned a blind eye and loaded my pocket, and my family's wealth shot up like a rocket.

We have mansions and riches beyond your wildest dreams; Biden wakes up and begins to scream!

It was only a dream, Lincoln is gone, Ill call Kamala and tell her what's wrong.

Joe picks up his cell and makes the call, but this doesn't seem right, no, not right at all!

This numbers been disconnected? No notice? No call? All of a sudden, a knock at the wall.

Before he could think, the room seems to erupt, a blinding light, oh shit I'm fucked!

The flashbang rings, and agents rush in, they handcuff Joe Biden, and interrogations begin.

Who do you work with? What is the truth? Biden begs for a deal, and offers a truce.

Everyone is corrupt, it's not just me, the systems unfair, it was all Hillary!

The agent smirks and takes off his mask, it's Hillary Clinton! Joe starts to gasp.

All of a sudden, Joe sits up in bed, a horrible dream, a feeling of dread.

In just three days, he can finally retreat, he can run away, he can avoid the heat.

Hot on his trail, the reckoning is here, the red wave approaches, and Joe's lives in fear.

Trump will win this election, it isn't a dream, have a wonderful weekend and a Happy Halloween!


Definition of American 1: a native or inhabitant of the U.S.

Definition of Reveille 1: a signal to wake up.

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