• American Reveille

Noggy History: Washington Crosses the Delaware Like a Boss

By James Lane, Owner @ American Reveille

I teach you about the faithful day Washington and company crossed the Delaware and murdered the heck out of British forces on Christmas...while drinking eggnog.



Audio Only - Episode 182: The Super Inspirational and Uncensored Christmas Special


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Generated Transcript:

I'm going to remind you of our history, I saw a really good article that showed a lot of history on Washington, and Washington's crossing of the Delaware on Christmas. We used to be a country with shared ideals, shared values, we fought together for our independence for our freedom. But a large portion of this country doesn't want freedom. They don't want independence, they want socialism, they want to bend the knee to a monarchy to a crown, they want somebody else to think for them, to feel for them, and to worry about them. All right, and to worry for them. But most of us, we want independence, we want freedom. We want the right to be able to fight for our lives, so that we can enjoy our lives and do what we want. Whatever makes us happy. The Pursuit of Happiness. Whatever career we'd like, whenever freedom, a freedom to be a frickin bean farmer in Oklahoma, or the freedom to become the president of the United States. Everybody in this country, regardless of skin color has that right? But a lot of people on the left if not everybody on the left seems to have forgotten that. So I'm going to remind you, I'm going to remind you, we're going to take a trip back in history. We're going to go on the Time Machine imagine strapping yourself in I don't know what type of time machine you want to imagine. Do you want to imagine like Journey to the Center of the Earth Time Machine? Or you know that Denzel Washington movie where they're in Louisiana, Louisiana, and what is it? The the one where they blow up the ship? It's like Mardi Gras and they blow the thing up deja vu he goes back in time and saves that that hot chicks life. Frickin we could use that time machine except you have to wake up in a hospital and they got to zap your heart back. That wasn't a screwed up to maybe we won't take that time machine. We could think maybe like the UFOs the tic tac UFOs they've been seeing maybe those are timely. I don't know. Whatever type of Time Machine. How about this DeLorean? Let's go back to the future. All right, so you get the DeLorean. Alright, Doc Brown's not there. He's like 96 years old. So you're gonna have to do this yourself. You load it up. You go. What is it? 88 miles an hour. Right. And now we're back in 1776. All right, and you're watching a Washington and something around 2500 men get ready to cross the Delaware on Christmas. That's the American spirit the American way. We're willing to do fucked up things and fucked up conditions Americans, right. How's that mean? Go? Americans willing to cross the frozen river on Christmas to kill you? Right? That's That's America. Other countries. I've talked to Australians. I've talked to other countries. They think we're crazy. Oh, Americans. I have all you got all these guns. And you can sit it shut the fuck up. This is America. We're built different than the rest of the world. We're better. America is better than every country in the world. And this is why Alright, exclusive. O'Donnell, America's first Christmas that changed the course of history. Let's have some fun with this. All right. Well. December of 1776 was one of the darkest times for America. Hyperinflation gripped the economy. Oh, that sounds interesting. Washington's army lost one battle after another. The mood of the country changed from optimism to defeat. But on Christmas day, Americans amid raging nor'easter crossed an impassable ice filled river surprise and killed an expertly trained enemy and changed the course of American history. Thomas Paine epically captured these days leading up to Christmas 1776 in the American crisis, quote, These are the times that try men's souls pain wrote, The Summer soldier and the sunshine patriot who will in this crisis shrink from the service of their country, but he that stands by it now deserves the love and thanks of man and women. Tyranny, like hell is not easily conquered. Yet. We have this constellation within us that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. Washington's army had lost one battle after another the economy had tanked. And the paper money the United States printed seemed worthless. You should pay attention to this folks, you should really hear these words because it sounds very familiar, doesn't it? Americans were abandoning their cause in droves. During the fall of 1776, the British issued an amnesty proclamation that often offered pardon and protection to rebels who signed an oath of loyalty to the king within 60 days, and 1000s of Americans, including several members of Congress, clamored to sign the oath. One disgusted American patriot recalled, quote, to the disgrace of the country in the human nature, great numbers flocked to confess their political sins to the representative of Majesty and to obtain pardon. It was observed that these consisted of the very rich and the very poor, while middling class held their their constancy Alright, think about that the middle class held their their their shit together they had balls, they said no if you king we're going to do it right but the super rich, they were cowards and the super poor, they were cowards only the folks in the middle who were fighting who believed in something who wanted to better themselves and better their families and work their way up a ladder that hadn't even been built yet. Those were the people holding this country together again, middle class friends and families, even somewhat poor friends and families. Don't you see? similarities there? I see the similarities says Making matters worse, the enlistments for the Continental Army expired in December and January 1 1777. That means that you could have just left it would have been over, most Americans could read in the pamphlet, immediately raise the morale of both the military and civilians. Alright, the looming prospect of disaster seem to spur Americans into action. As things get worse, we get stronger, you've heard that thing. Weak men make hard times hard times, make strong men strong men make easy times easy times make weak men this is the type of thing but when things get real weak here, it seems like God comes down and taps certain people, certain people with the core values and abilities to step up and take charge and make things happen. That's a key American value a key American quality that is not seen in many other countries folks, quote, Our republic cannot exist long and prosperity. Dr. Benjamin Rush later wrote in the letter to John Adams, quote, we require adversity to appear and appear to possess most of the Republican spirit. When most depressed when things get hardest, we rise to the occasion. That's what that means. The crisis had a direct positive effect that steel to resolve that December 245 years ago. It sounds like such a long time, but it's not. It's like three lifetimes. It's like your grandma's mom. That's it. All right, your grandma's Grandma, it's not long ago. It's not 245 years ago, it marked a period where Americans from all stripes came together to alter the course of history. In a great counter offensive on Christmas night. On the eve of the battle, General George Washington sat in his tent on the banks of the Delaware River and method, methodically wrote the same three words over and over and over again, on several small pieces of paper. He had decided on a darling plan sorry, a daring plan. Crossing the ice choke Delaware River and mounting a surprise attack on the HESI and Garrison there knowing that the assault could not hope to succeed if word of the plan reached the enemy. He detailed Virginia sorry, he detailed a Virginia the cert what sorry? Excuse me. What is this he detailed a Virginia the to serve as centuries? I think they screwed up here in the article. I think it says he detailed. There's probably some military or something from Virginia there to service the centuries around the Patriot camp. The General himself selected the password for the night. And that was what he was writing on scraps of paper for distribution to unit commanders, hey, Breitbart, your article here has a typo. Excuse me, effing up my podcast. What the fuck? While the Surgeon Generals, the Continental Army was visiting Washington, one of the slips, one of the slips happened to fall on the floor. Quote, I was struck with the inspection of it the physician wrote, it was Victory or death. That was what George Washington wrote on that paper again, and again and again all night Victory or death. Think about that. That's the bottom of the eggnog contrary to the myth perpetrated perpetuated by many children's books. The Essenes in Trenton, New Jersey, are neither drunk nor idle. Their experienced Commander Colonel Jonathan ihraam, the hero of White Plains, Chatterton hills, and the breakthrough at Fort Washington kept his men in constant readiness and on patrol. A series of raids by the local militia in the prior days had put them on edge and the men slept, dressed and armed. Raul realized the precarious nature of the Trenton outpost, and frequently demanded reinforcements but to no avail. in exasperation, he complained scheisse obey scheisse ship on shit, let them come, we will go at them with the bayonet. British spies had warned of an impending attack on Trenton but no one knew the exact day and time The intelligence combined with the raids but rollin is men in a perpetual state of alert and began to fray at their nerves. If you stay in alert, alright waiting for something think about that think of any stress where you've been waiting for an impending decision, something that would be good or bad something that was coming and you didn't know when Think of how built in your stomach. Every one of his troops sat there for days and weeks feeling that stress and it took a big toll on them. All right, it took a big toll on them, says Washington settled on complicated plan to envelop rouse garrison. The main force which included the elite troops from Maryland would cross that McConkey ferry. Alright, this is a screwed up place you got to understand, I want you to think about this. This is a huge ice river. Alright, a huge ice river and they've got a cross. Over 2000 men on these boats cross this river. If you fall over you freeze to death. It's the middle of the night. It's Christmas. This is a hell of an endeavor. This is 1776 They didn't have floodlights, and freakin parkas. Nobody was wearing like fleece lined jackets and Ugg boots. Alright, this was the shits of the shits. This was a Victory or death. It says the army was in pitiful condition. As one American officer remembered, it would be a terrible night for the soldiers who had no shoes. Some had tied old rags around their feet. Others were barefoot, and not one man complained. Do you know how much bitching and moaning would be? uncalled come in my ears her. Everybody would be bitching and moaning everybody's a pussy in 2021 these were freakin 17 year old kids, a lot of these folks. Nobody was pitching. Nobody was moaning. They were getting the job done. They were fighting for independence or fighting for freedom from tyranny. Something that should be starting to become familiar for many people today. Dealing with tyranny. Alright, says by 11pm A massive storm pelted the men with snow, sleet, and biting wind as they crossed the Delaware in Durham boats. All right, not to be confused with the Durham investigation. These were Durham boats. They're tall. Wall boats with flat bottoms. Alright. Crossing the Delaware and Durham boats. Many people couldn't swim. If they fell over the side they would die. Despite the risk of frostbite and hypothermia. The in the indefatigable what is that? Who wants to use a word that big? I've never even seen that word. We're gonna look that word up really quick so that I can read this properly for you guys. I have to throw this in there. Is that even a word in D fat? It's an adjective, indefatigable, it means incapable of being defeated, incapable of being defeated, incapable of being fatigued. Alright, why would you use that word? It's 2021. Despite the risk of frostbite and hypothermia, the you could say the ever ready Continental Army the strong willed Continental Army, the non the excited beyond tired Continental, the indefatigable Continental Army, you had a typo three paragraphs ago, and now you're using words half of us don't know I'm sorry, I'm pitching at Breitbart. Now. The Continental Army pressed on Washington was out in front. Somebody said I've never seen Washington so determined as he is now. Alright. Miraculously, the Americans didn't lose a single soldier in the initial crossing. However, the storm had put them far behind their timetable. All right, through the snow and sleet driven nearly horizontal by punishing winds. The men and horses trudged through drifts and slid across icy roads. Quote, many of our poor soldiers are barefoot and Ill clad. Alright, the officers were literally feeling bad for their folks. Alright, the route was easily traced. There was snow everywhere. There was snow everywhere. Imagine that. You get across the river. You got horses you got this isn't just a bunch of dudes. This is 2500 people. This is a horses, these their wagons, there's food and supplies. There's ammunition. Everything you'd need in a war now, but not easily transportable there on wagons back then and started 1776 Nobody had an engine. Nobody has a car. You couldn't say hey, my drive that shit over around the fucking river. This was an endeavor. People were freezing to death. People were crying. People were fucked up. People had no shoes. Alright, this isn't like today where everybody's got a pair of fucking Nikes and then tells you you're privileged. Back then. People were fucked. And they didn't care. Nobody complained. Nobody complained. The Americans arrived on the outskirts of Trenton, New Jersey just before eight o'clock in the morning. Remember, when I said that? They're due at 11pm The storm. They're still fucking crossing. This is ours. And this is eight in the morning now the next day. I mean, this isn't something they don't get a nap. They're doing this for days trying to get across this fucking river and just so happens Christmas Day 8am There they are taking a look across all right there they are eight o'clock in the morning thanks to the reduced visibility from the storm. They approached within 200 yards before the centuries cried data feed How about this how did Optus the enemy turnout? Turnout I don't know if you know yet but it has scenes are German. Anyway, shots were fired. Alright, and the Americans charged some yelling. These are the times that try men's souls. The famous words penned by Thomas Paine as their battle cry. The heskins disorganized fell back from the onslaught that seemed to come from all around them small groups clash throughout the city house to house fighting just like Afghanistan, just like I write it's house to house fighting. This is not something new. Alright, maybe our technology has changed. But we've been doing this shit for hundreds of years, with kettle drums beating Ralph shouted all who are my grenadier ears forward. By this time the Americans had infiltrated the entire city marksman took up secure positions and houses and behind fences where they could pick off enemy fires boom, one by one American artillery commanded by Boston Tony and Colonel Henry Knox. By the way, there's a there's a myth. Some say it's real. Some say it's not real. But Henry Knox was close with Washington and he was a fat ass motherfucker. And when Washington stepped into his boat, it's rumored that Washington said something kicked him in his ass and said to Henry, he said, Hey, Harry, you need to move your fat ass he said something like that. Move your fat ass but do it slowly so you don't swamp the boat. He's literally saying Hey, buddy, move quick. I gotta get all this fucking boat but don't do too fast. You fat motherfucker. You fat piece of shit. Henry Knox if you move too fast gonna dump all of us in this cold ass River. I'm a fuck you. That's the rumor. At least that's 2021 translation for what Washington may have said. But anyway, this is Henry Knox All right. Knox. All right. They took the city Colonel Henry Knox pummeled the oncoming Hacienda Knox later wrote here succeeded a scene of war of which I had been often conceived but never saw before. All right. He'd often dreamed of that type of war but never saw a site such as what he had seen that day. Another participant captured the McCobb Meili, my blood chill to see horror and distress such horror and distress blood mingling together the dying groans and garments rolled in blood, the site was too much to bear. After retaking his artillery Rahl tried, but failed to rally his men acting on faulty intelligence. Acting on faulty intelligence. He assumed that his only escape route a bridge across the assumed pink Creek had been captured by the marble headers. He ordered the heskins to retreat through an orchard to the south east. At that moment, two bullets struck the commander in the side, mortally wounded he reeled in the saddle, that means he went, Oh, reeled in the saddle FOC his man attempted to evade the patriot forces. But the Americans pursued on horseback Washington leading the attack. Can you imagine them galloping through this orchard? Fucking going right after these guys right after screaming march on brave fellows after me hit from three sides the heskins now leaderless because remember hit their leaders fucked up dying in a saddle going, Oh, fuck me. A lot. They lowered their guns. They lowered their flags. They gave up 9am. Alright, think about that. They got there right before eight. It gave up at nine. This is just an hour off the shit I just read one hour worth of the surrender soon spread the continental forces throughout Trenton. A huge shout took the town as the triumphant Americans threw their hats into the air and cheered the victory. In short order. They found 40 hog sheds of rum and cracked them open. By the time Washington found out about the alcohol and ordered the cast destroyed. The soldiers drank so freely to admit any discipline or defense. Washington had more things he wanted to do that day, but everybody got a little too drunk after the victory. All right. The Americans had killed 22 hessie and severely wounded 84 and took 896 prisoners while suffering few losses. Equally important they captured as many muskets bayonets, cartouche boxes and swords as well as all the artillery swelling their supplies. The Americans had won a great victory, but they had little time for rest. Washington needed to capitalize on the victory of Trenton and eliminate the other British troops in New Jersey. But for that he would need to troops. The enlistment period for the bulk of Washington's men expired on New Year's Day. They had every right to return home. What was left of the Continental Army into Fort went into formation and stood at attention as Washington mustered his oratorical powers, sorry, prowess, and appealed to the men to continue fighting. He said, quote, my brave fellows, you've done all I've asked you to do and more, that could be reasonably expected. But your country is at stake. Your wives are at stake your houses and all that you hold dear. If you will consent to stay one month longer, you will render that service to the cause of liberty and to your country, which you probably can never ever do under any of other circumstances. All right. He's basically saying, Please, we just won this battle, the war is almost over. We're about to have a free country. If you leave, your wives are going to get screwed up, your houses are going to burn down, everything's going to get fucked up. But stay with me fight with me for one more month, fight for me and have a free country. Alright, that's what he told them. Moved by the generals words and his most affectionate manner. Men slowly stepped forward from the ranks, more soldiers followed, as the majority of the army decided, excuse me to continue fighting. Many of those who stepped forward would help turn the tide in the coming battles to win us liberty that we enjoy today. And while the sacrifice was great, many of those volunteers died in battle or from smallpox, America's resolve is at its strongest in its darkest hours. Alright, I wanted to read that to you. I know it was a little long. But I want you to understand that historically, the pattern shows that when we're the most fucked up or the most screwed when our conservative values are crushed into the dirt when free freedom and liberty are being pissed upon by the enemy. Americans always rise to the occasion. We've done it before and we will do it again.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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