'Twas the Night Before Christmas (A Visit from St. Nicholas Parody) Santa Visits Mar-a-Lago!

by James Lane, Owner, American Reveille LLC

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the streets

Not a Leftie was stirring, Not even a tweet!

The moon was high, and the night was a ‘glow,

As Old St. Nick met with President Trump, at Mara Lago.

Everyone was asleep, the Navy SEALS patrolled,

Santa and Trump had a plan to unfold.

Trump spoke of commies and crooks in our midst,

Of course, Santa confirmed with his naughty or nice list!

He confirmed all their crimes, and he damned them all night,

damn Lefties, damn Socialists, damn Commies, oh my!

Scarfing down milk and cookies, he began to exclaim,

It’s time to enact an executive order, that will solidify your reign!

The president nodded, as he signed a paper,

An executive order, that would do us all a HUGE favor.

It would freeze the accounts, of the entire deep state,

And they would all be arrested, for treason and hate!

When out on the lawn, there arose an explosion,

The SEALS reported back, panic and commotion!

This news was confirmed, by multiple sources,

Santa said, don’t worry Donnie, I’ll call North Pole special forces:

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!

I couldn’t believe it, I gave my eyes a good rub,

Was that a blacked out chopper, in the dark skies above?

Someone yelled “Kraken on Steroids!” as 8 jacked elves jumped over,

These were no reindeer, they were big bad ol’ soldiers!

Santa yelled best of the best, as he took a bow,

Hey look there’s their commander Sidney Powell right now!

Sidney Powel marched on over in camo and boots,

305th Kraken Battalion AKA, Christmas elves with attitudes!

They rushed to the gate on magical sleds,

Armed with sugar plum grenades and candied magazines full of lead.

They gazed in the distance, and what did they see?

The Left was attacking, its BLM, ANTIFA, and a million Chinese.

Their eyes were big swirls, and their mouths were wide open,

Dry from repeating, the mantras they’d chosen!

They are brainwashed its true, emotionally programmed,

The enemy attacked, but now they are frozen.

Like mindless zombies, they scream and they moan,

The Left has them now, just forget it, Let it go.

But Santa and Trump, they had other plans,

They loaded the elves, in black unmarked vans.

These were special vans with one big bad secret,

These vans were magically powered by concentrated Christmas spirit!

Into the air, they began to fly!

A sight to behold, oh my oh my!

They flew in a circle, above the large crowed,

And dropped a HUGE payload, all the way down!

Make no mistake, this was a great bomb.

But what it contained, what a magic so strong!

The Christmas Atom, was suspended inside,

And as it fell, it split, and it fried.

It frizzled and dizzled, and dazzled and doozled,

It jumped up and down, and stretched like a strudel.

Glitter and sparkles, and presents and cake!

All of a sudden, the Left began to awake!

They yelled what have we done, and where have we been?

You’ve been under a wicked spell young ones, called socialism.

Trump and Santa high-fived, as the magic dispersed,

The elves got the rest, with quick three round bursts.

So the spirit of Christmas, again saved the day,

Trump cured this country, in one single play,

By loading a bomb, with pure Christmas Joy

Santa Clause cured, the naughty girls and boys.

BLM fell apart, and ANTIFA dissolved,

Humpy Dumpty George Soros, had a great fall.

The deep state didn’t kill itself, and the swamp it was drained

President Trump is a hero, to the nation he saved.

With a jolly old wink, and a great big old smile,

St Nick was done, at least for a while.

As the patriots celebrated, he snuck off out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"


Definition of American: a native or legal inhabitant of the U.S. Definition of Reveille: a signal to wake up.

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