• Danelle Siegel

Self-Proclaimed Nice Guy

By Danelle Siegel, contributor

The phone ringing ripped me from my sleep. I fumbled to find it in the dark. My daughter was lying next to me and I was just hoping it didn't wake her. I finally found the phone and almost dropped it on the floor while I was struggling to see it. Lo and behold it was the same guy that I told to not reach out anymore because he needs to heal and in the same text I told him that I can't handle the late-night phone calls. I own and run two busy companies all day...I need my sleep.

When I looked at the clock I saw that it was 12:30 am. Before this I was trying to be nice, but this was too much!

I did the only thing in my power and blocked him. Thank God I did because in the morning I saw a bunch of texts and blocked calls in my blocked messages file. One text specifically said how I was perfect for him and he would have given me anything. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Not because I haven't heard this a million times (who hasn't) but because I've felt this way about guys I liked. I don't think I ever said it to them but I definitely felt it.

I couldn't understand why a guy who is perfect for me, and that I was willing to give the world to, wouldn't want me. It helped me realize that it was so selfish of me. What about what's perfect for them? I was so focused on myself that I couldn't possibly genuinely care about the other person.

When you care about someone else, you want the best for them.

When I was being abused, I spoke with my doctor and he said something that will stay with me forever. "Now you have no chance at happiness, but without him you at least have a chance at happiness" That resonates and echoes every time I meet someone new.

Ultimately I want someone that thinks of what's best for me. If we are both thinking about what's best for him then it's a toxic relationship. I was always the all-in type which left me too exposed. I would get so attached that I would lose myself. Everything happens for a reason and this interaction was no different.

Words Matter

[Note: Our bloggers are independent writers with their own constitutionally granted opinions, viewpoints, interpretations, and feelings. Their views do not always represent that of American Reveille LLC. Regardless, we support their right to free speech and a medium to express it! Got a problem with that? Go somewhere else!]


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